Now, whenever your kid's teacher says your satan-spawn is a naughty boy, ask her if she slapped him and asked him 'who's yo momma, bitch??'

Every time I read a story about a teacher bed-dancing with her testosterone-fuelled, new to the wondrous bodily fluids-inducing experiences teenage student, I can't help thinking that that kid must be one hot student. But then again, all teenagers are v. hot! I mean, just look at the Olsen twins! Personally, I prefer the fat one. And they're already 18! I'm not a paedophile anymore!

But I digress. So how does this teacher-banging Vili Fualaa look like?

Um...well I guess he must be hung like a horse.