Daniel is the Malaysian Idol; Girls touch themselves inappropriately

Dear Malaysian teenage girls,

I know you've all been voting feverishly to make Daniel this year's Malaysian Idol, and you've finally succeeded. I'm sure many of you will go to bed tonight, thinking how it'd be like to have a romantic dinner with him or how he'll be all tied up in bed begging you, his mistress to whip him harder and just dig that stiletto a liiitle deeper while you recount your triumphant rescue of Third World's babies and ultimate victory of stealing the sexiest man on the planet from that woman from the overrated sitcom so that you can fill this planet with the most perfect babies the world has ever seen, but perhaps I should save you all from the potential heartbreak that you will experience anyway when you grow up and start to actually date that hot football player who seems to spend a bit too much time with his captain doing 'homework' at his home.

Gay doesn't only mean being happily excited, exuberant and in high spirits.

Sometimes it also involves enemas and lubes.

BFF,
Lan
xoxo

And You [sic] Idol is... Daniel! [MalaysianIdol]