NST sets its priorities straight

New Straits Times

Malaysians want another tsunami - the supermodel kind

Kee Hua Chee over at The Star must be snorting some really good snow, and not the environment-polluting "black snow" either, when he/she (oh, we're always confused) entertained the thought of inviting none other than the assistant-abusing La Naomi herself to our local runways. But wait - the article is actually an interview with her agent. In London! Can we now expect an influx of interviews with international agents shamelessly promoting their "talents" masquerading as credible news pieces in our local media? No worries, agents. Malaysians are suckers. The only agents we know are named Mulder and Scully.

Because we are Malaysians

Several states in Malaysia had a massive blackout today and did The Star know something that we don't when they asked the deputy president of the utility company whether it was due to a "sabotage by employees"? Better not fuck with the people who know how to cut the electricity supply, man. You don't want to deal with a surge of baby births 9 months from now. I'd rather make sweet love to my vibrator instead. But I need that electricity to charge the batteries! Anyway, let's see which media can work the tsunami angle into their story first.

What the hell is wrong with you people?!

Okay, I know Friendster is like, dead but sometimes people (I'm a bit hesitant to call them 'friends'; you'll see what I mean soon) that I haven't spoken to in years added me to their network or whatever you call those things. So you're supposed to be polite and accept their invitations so that we all can feel good seeing our friendships clearly defined and categorised. "Of course we're friends...you're in my Friendster network!! LOL". But looking at the 'Popular Searches in my Network' list, maybe I shouldn't be so quick about feeling good:

So my friends like sluts who got murdered, various states of undress and incest, among others. Can you blame me for turning out this way?

Tsunami god is still cumming

Malaysian media is still in awe of the huge 8.9 inch tsunami cock that they managed to make a reference to it in EVERY SINGLE NEWS ITEM. Just last night tv3 asked our athletes to follow the hard work and perseverance set by the body builder whatshisname who won the Mr. Universe title, "especially in the wake of the tsunami". Suck it 'til it's dry, tv3 (well, tsunami cock is different, you know).

While we are talking about genitalia (oh, you aren't?), this is the news that'll make you go ouch! Understandably, the husband didn't want her wife to report the incident to the police. I mean, who wants the world to know he doesn't have a penis, especially when the tsunami has an 8.9 inch? (See what I did there? Hey, if tv3 can do it...)

Happy [sic] new year, everyone!